Sunday, June 21, 2009


Welcome to my world. It's unfortunate, it's accidental, and it's not entirely plausible all the time - but guess what. It is. I'm your resident Small Fry. I'm four eleven, and I have a big head of hair, and I recently got bangs and everyone likes them. They make me look less like a seven year old, and more like a seven year old who reads the Sunday Styles.

I've tried doing the blog thing before, and I've failed, because I often start things and get such bad creative ADD where I start a new project instead that I completely abandon the first one. But I've decided that it'd be nice to write down my everyday misadventures. That way, you can laugh at me - or I can just revisit this page over and over again if none of you do, and laugh at myself.

So perhaps before you dive headfirst into my universe and bang your head on the cement at the bottom of the pool (yup), you should get to know a bit about me and, you know, my biorhythms. Capricorn! Oh wait, that says nothing. Except "Goat, born between Dec 21 and Jan 20." Damn. Anyway.

So, yes, I am That Girl. No, not the sitcom for x years ago starring Marlo Thomas, because although I aspire to be super trendy, I often fail. For example, I buy skinny jeans but they're too big in the butt so it looks like I have some major issues going on in the rear end section. Then my pants slide down my legs and I tried to wear a belt, but..

I'm the girl who, yes, whose pants fall down in public sometimes. I'm the girl who is addicted to caffeine and has a really simple beverage at Starbucks, which is essentially coffee + steamed milk (a misto), and they always get it wrong. I'm the girl who is addicted to caffeine and has acid reflux and IBS and they told me to stop drinking it, and I said no. I'm the girl who went as Nicole Richie, Pregnant one year for Halloween and as Amy Winehouse the next. The girl who had a bit too much wine and accidentally showed up drunk to her math final. The girl who realized, while getting felt up, that maybe today wasn't the best day to stuff her bra with toilet paper like a twelve year old.

I also have a fondness for Asians. I don't really know why or how this happened - and I swear, I mean fondness, not fetish. I just sometimes want to be like Gwen Stefani, and have a Harajuku posse following me around or something.

Oh, and since I'm quite small and resemble a child, I often shop in the kids section. And yes, I often get mistaken for a child and am told I can't enter theaters by myself because you have to be at least twelve. I'm twenty.

So, like I said, I'm Small Fry, I'm That Girl, and wecome to my little planet. I'm a theater and English major, which means I not only play action and dramatize everything, but I can write about it, too.

Blogs are kinda like vanity projects if you think about it, unless you know people find you amusing. People have told me I'm amusing, but they also have told me a lot of other things. Like that present that I got when my little sister was born when I was four was made by her in my mom's stomach. I totally believed that for a really long time. Fetuses can make Sesame Street xylophones and wrap them. Right?

Til next time,
Small Fry/That Girl

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